March 1, 2021, marked a very important day in family law across Canada. It saw the implementation of extensive amendments to the Divorce Act and, importantly for Ontario, to the Children’s Law Reform Act.

Separation is very often about feelings - strong feelings. They come in a variety of shapes and sizes - from sadness and grief, to disappointment, anger and suspicion. When concerns about the future - children, money, rights and obligations, come into play, the mixture can be potent and liable to explode.

When a couple separates and expresses interest in mediating their issues, at the surface level they will be the participants in the trialogue with the family mediator - THEY will sit at the negotiating table, virtual or otherwise. Yet assuming they are the only stakeholders may negatively impact chances of success in mediation.

Yes, it IS possible to mediate a narrow aspect of parenting, like for example sharing the children’s time with the other parent over the Christmas holidays. AND it’s never too early to start that dialogue.

I devoted a whole episode of my SANE SPLIT Podcast to this topic - if you are interested in learning more, give it a listen.

In simplest terms, people come to family mediation because they “want” different things.

They communicate to the other party (and this can happen in a variety of ways) what they “want” - and this identifies the issue in dispute - as in - “we have different wants” on this issue.

What the parties say they “want” are their POSITIONS.

One issue many people find confusing is the role in Family Mediation of a mediator who also happens to be a family law lawyer. Boy, that is a mouthful but it's the only way I can think of expressing what I need to say.

From my perspective, it is of great benefit to the mediating parties to have a mediator who is a family law lawyer. Why? Because that mediator can provide the parties with information about the issues they want to tackle, from a legal perspective. Not advice but information.

In the episode of my SANE SPLIT podcast entitled “Demystifying Family Mediation”, I talked briefly about selecting your family mediator, and what points you may want to keep in mind when approaching this task. If you are interested in an overview of family mediation, I invite you to tune into that episode.

Many Ontarians do not know that in our Province, family mediators are not a regulated profession. This means that in practical terms, just about anyone can hang up a sign in front of their house announcing to the world that they are a family mediator, and work as one without any specific qualifications or experience.